What I like about my draft so far is the word choice and organization of it. I feel that I worked hard on the way that I phrase my argument to make it easier to understand for the average reader that does not know as much about the topic as I do. I decided to work on this for this second draft because during peer review I noticed that those who read my draft were confused about some of the ways that I phrased my sentences. Luckily, the issue with word choice and a couple sentences being phrased oddly is a fine tuning revision that was easy for me to go back and change things around to make it clearer for my reader about what they were reading. I also rearranged some of my sentences at the beginning of my paragraphs to ensure that my topic sentences were as clear as possible. Thankfully, I learned during peer review that almost all of my topic sentences were clear to the reader that they were at the beginning of my paragraphs.
What I am concerned about for my draft right now is if my introduction and conclusion are clear and make sense. The feedback I got from the first peer review was that my introduction felt like a summary. I changed some things around and flipped the paragraphs in that section because I want to avoid the paragraphs feeling like a summary. I want to make sure that the introduction and conclusion do not feel like they are summarizing my argument and are instead moving the conversation forward.
I’d like to get feedback on my introduction and conclusion and if they are clear and are adding to my argument rather than summarizing it. I also would like feedback on my topic sentences to ensure that they are clear and are at the beginning of all of my paragraphs. Along with that I’d like feedback on if my quotes are clear or need to be revised in some way to make sure that I am giving enough information but also have my own voice in the paper.
What I left to do for my draft is basic editing and some revision based on the feedback I get from this second peer review. I feel that I’m in a good place with my draft. I just want to make sure that my word choice is refined and that my argument is clear without feeling like anything is being summarized. I feel that I am at some of the last stages of my revision and right now I’m focused on refining and fine tuning my paper.
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